Date: Wed, 24 Oct 2007 22:52:41 -0600

ok so i just totally grossed steph out.
I told her i was going to have my wedding rings melted down and have my freind rob cast me a diamond and gold nipple that can be attached with my reconstruction.......
whadya think?
I decided today that being a cancer patient is not goint to define who i am.......it is now part of what i am but it is not me....so lets see how long i can hold that attitude.
Had a ton of bloodwork done today and a chest xray and having a right side mammogram and ultrasound on monday.....as no one has even looked at that boob.
going to make some pretty scarves for when my hair falls out....toyed with having my head tattooed for a few seconds but not really me....dont think i will bother with a wig....scarves or bald with red lipstick is more me.
if i have to do this i am damn well going to try and do it with grace!
started an art journal.

Well, this last year has been so overwhelming with massive life changes I hardly know where to begin.
I am in the middle of an ugly divorce. And was diagnosed last week with Invasive Ductal Carcinoma in my left breast.
I am scheduled for a mastectomy and lypmphnode dissection on November 16th. Followed by Chemo and radiation.
I feel strangely detached.
I want to wake up from this nightmare.

test

so....after months of falling down and emotional black hole here i am again....putting my toes in the water. Anyone still here?
I will post pics of my latest work soon. I wish the universe would send me a dressmakers dummy.....
Whats new...well getting a divorce....have a kid with a spinal injury requiring surgery next month and he has to wear a halo for 3 months. Have 2 litters of kittens...want a kittie?
It all sounds so depressing but I am happy....really....I think.
pics later.
Oh...and I got into whistler....because the universe loves me.

Making 20 teacozies for summer stock. Felting like a loon.

While living 'THE TOWER' I have actually managed to produce some stuff....trying hard to get into production mode.

in light of recent life events I would like to make my journal friends only so that I can feel comfortable posting here again. Unfortunately my limited brain power is not letting me figure it out. Can someone explain how to do it.....slowly.
R

1)I resolve to keep positive
2)I resolve to stop protecting people from themselves
3)I resolve to remember everyday how lucky I am to have such good friends
4)I resolve to make my art my focus.
5)I resolve to not hang on to the past but have forward motion where ever that leads.
6) I resolve to get more sleep
7)I resolve to accept myself as fat and get on with it.
8)I resolve to always look for the silver lining

Happy New Years Everyone.

My sister always says.....dont look to closely at anything, if you do you will have to fix it.

And on that vein, Trust and Respect are two very precious and precarious commodoties.......

Looking closely.

And What is that saying? something about those that do not learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.

Excuse me, I would like to get off this bus.

No I have not been drinking although a Margarita would be nice.

Eighteen minutes......that is how long it took them to eat christmas dinner....2 days of cooking and 18 minutes eating....that must be some kind of record.
I am totally exhausted but as always my mind is racing with projects.
Today I did laundry, dishes and cleaned the avalanche in the livingroom.
The rest of the day I sat with the house to myself watching Ken's NCIS season 2 dvds and my new "hand forged scissors made by Master Ji" and cut out bits of felt.
I looked in the office/sewingroom today and saw the mountainous post christmas and christmas sale disaster!
There are at least 2 rubbermaids full of items of felt that 'never made it' which now need to be re-incarnated into something else. I can't see the sewing machine under a pile of felt and the cutting table looks like a like a rummage sale.....so....barring crisis tommorow....its clean the sewing room day to get ready for the new year.
but tonight....ginger ale, more ncis and cutting out felt with my serious scissors.